I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
