So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
