I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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