A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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