It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
