don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
