I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
