hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize