So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
