Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
