She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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