Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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