why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
