No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
