I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
