A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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