Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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