He had one of those small greek statue penises
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
