it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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