Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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