I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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