butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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