The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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