Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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