i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
