I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
