If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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