I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
