mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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