I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
