I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
