I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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