saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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