Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
