Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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