Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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