Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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