My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
