Sry I called you an 8
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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