Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You are the jesus of drinking
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
