My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
