I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Randomize
