Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
