Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
