Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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