I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
