you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home