he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
