I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor