Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
