You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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