apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
