If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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