Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
