Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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