Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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