he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
