two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
