Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
