i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
