Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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