my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Holy sore nipples Batman
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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